To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
