She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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