Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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