if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Randomize
