I wish I could teleport
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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