highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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