I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i wish my penis had a tongue
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
