if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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