we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
You don't make any sense
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