Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
