you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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