Small penises have feelings too.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
