Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
