nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
