Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
