Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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