Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
