butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
someone threw a dead crab at me
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
