bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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