hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
