You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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