the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
