hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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