the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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