in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
