he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
