my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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