It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
