oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I will be naked everywhere
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
