I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The struggles of a small town man whore
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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