Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
