The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
