Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
