Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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