I am spending my child support on dildos
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
