I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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