The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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