While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
