trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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