id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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