she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I think im going to throw up on grandma
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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