Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
