Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
