I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
