It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
