This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
two words...techno handjob
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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