She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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