hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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