Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
These tits shall not be calmed
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