I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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