Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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