that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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