Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
