Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
